My mom & dad dont want me 2 go 2 college!They want me 2 live @ home w them for anotha yr.I am the oldest of 5 & n all honesty the main mom n the house.I cook clean do laundry etc. since I was 11.my mom shops.I luv my rents dont get me wrong but I want my education & want 2 b on my own so bad!I have told them that since age 10!So Im forced 2 get a full time job and pay for my own school, I have no credit & cant get a loan.Bottom line my rents want me as their live n maid for anotha yr & I want no part of it.They have screwed me over with school (I was enrolled and goin in oct) bcuz they said they aren’t payin 4 it anymore.I have a fiancée whom I luv very much and plan on gettin married 2 w/n the nxt 2 yrs. he has an apartment & knows how difficult my rents r makin things on me. He asked me if I wanted 2 move n and I dunno wat 2 do. Do I live @ home where it is unbearable? or do I move n w the bf. he has a full time job and is goin to school already and I wood work for a yr 2 go to schoo
If you’re 18 or older, make your own decision and it sounds like you already know what you want to do, you just need to gather your courage to do it. I say, move in with your boyfriend but work out the finances first and get it all in writing. Things are always sweeter in the beginning than they are at the end. Apply for student loans and spend some time in the finance dept. of the school because there are grants you might be eligible for as well. Find out if your boyfriend expects you to pay rent, help with the bills, buy food, etc. Get ALL the information you can before making a final decision.
December 28th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Education is important, you should go especially if thats what you want. Be prepared to do it completely on your own.
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December 28th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
move in with your boyfriend, things will be so much easier and less stressful
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December 28th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
i say do u…….ur grown…….its time 4 ur sibling 2 pick up where u left off…u can always come back……..but its hard out here so stay strong…….do whats best 4 u..good luck
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December 28th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Its a pain being the oldest. I am too. This is your decision to make, no one elses. That being said you need to consider some things. Will you have to pay expenses if you move in with your bf? Seems if you do, you’d save more $ if you stayed at home and worked to save for school. Not to mention your siblings must depend on you a lot, and it does affect them when you move/go to school. Its stressful, but what is going to be the best for you in the long run. Will you save more $ staying home? Your going to be cooking, cleaning when you get your own place, not to mention all the expenses of moving out for the 1st time too. Good luck with your decision
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December 28th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
If you’re 18 or older, make your own decision and it sounds like you already know what you want to do, you just need to gather your courage to do it. I say, move in with your boyfriend but work out the finances first and get it all in writing. Things are always sweeter in the beginning than they are at the end. Apply for student loans and spend some time in the finance dept. of the school because there are grants you might be eligible for as well. Find out if your boyfriend expects you to pay rent, help with the bills, buy food, etc. Get ALL the information you can before making a final decision.
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December 28th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
You owe ourself an education, its the best investment you can ever make. Take your parents religion out of the picture,and the previous statement remains true.
You will only learn how to get stains out of t-shirts if you continue living at home, if you truely want to leave home and are of age 18, visit the bank and talk to the loan officier about a student loan, their easy to get, i could get my cat one if i wanted to.
Work part time during the semester, full time during the summer, and get your education, you’ll be happy you did.
Good luck!
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December 28th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
You don’t have to pay for school up front. You can get loans through the government. If you live in the states fill out your FASFA to see if you qualify for any grants (you don’t have to pay back grants). There are so many options that can help you pay for school you don’t have to save up and then go. Here is what I suggest. Contact a counselor at the college you want to attend. Request to speak with someone who can help you with school loans. There are plenty of people at any college that would be more than happy to help you out. There is no reason you can’t be in school by fall.
As far as moving in with your bf that is a tough desicion. It will obviously put a strain on the relationship you have with your parents. Is your happiness worth it? I grew up in a very strict christian home. There came a time when I had to tell my parents to let me live my life and make my own choices. I moved out on my own and started my own life. It was tough at first but now I am closer to my parents than I ever have been.
Bottom line you need to do what you feel is right for you. If you truly want to move in with your boyfriend then do it. It doesn’t matter what your parents or any one else thinks. This is your life. Granted you will screw up and make mistakes, everyone does that is how you learn, you will get it right eventually. Follow your heart (as cliche as that sounds) and do what make YOU happy.
Good luck!
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December 28th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
If your parents were paying for your school I think I would respect their wishes and stay home a year. Since they are not helping you with school I would follow your heart and move in with your fiance (as long as the relationship is very solid). I was in a similar situation as you when I started college. My parents were constantly fighting and taking frustrations out on me, so I decided to move in with my boyfriend. Of course they were very angry at first because they thought it was not right to live with a man before I was married, but you need to remember that their values are not your own. You are an adult now and you can respect their opinions, but the bottom line is that you are in charge of you. If they want you in there lives they will just need to get over it! Needless to say me and my husband have been married 7 years now and my parents don’t understand why they made such a big deal out of it in the first place.
One final word of advice. Save money and go to a community college your first two years. You will save a ton of money! Loans are not fun when you get out of school (but sometimes necessary if you want to finish sooner without totally stressing yourself out) so try to pay for some things cash with a part time job. Good Luck! Don’t be too hard on yourself about the decision you make because this is a happy time in your life…stressful but exciting.
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December 28th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I think you would be just adding problems to the ones you already have if you move in with him now.Don’t make any hasty decisions.Maybe there are other options available to you.Talk to someone at the school about your situation,they will probably know more options for you.
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December 28th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I had a similar situation. I graduated from college, and in my experience and opinion only when I was forced to study abroad (Japan 4 months) did my parents have a taste of life without me. I think that was the key. When I returned home, not only did I feel more confident about my own abilities but also I drove home the point that they would have to get along with their lives without me: as an adult you have to start your life at some point. I am the main caretaker of the house too. But if you can’t get away with their help, don’t use it and don’t wait for it…quite frankly…it’s not going to come.
So I might suggest that if you can afford, financially and emotionally, to move out and live with your boyfriend and still attend college like you desire….do it. I understand your situation, and especially if religion is involved, only "appropriately" forcing change is going to work. I used my study abroad…you should use your own situation.
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My life experience
December 28th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I’m not sure what your parents’ being Christian has anything to do with this, but…
If you’re over 18 and are paying for your own education, then your parents can’t make you stay. You have every right to leave home when you’re ready.
But being on your own and paying rent are very expensive. As hard as it might be to live at home, can you bear it long enough to start school and begin saving some money?
If it would be too unbearable to live at home, you should go. Try to get student loans to help pay for college. That way you can go to school right away, even if you have to split your days between work and college. It’s better than waiting a year. Every year you put it off, the harder it is to go back.
If you decide to go, sit your parents down and just tell them you’ve decided that it’s time for you to be on your own. (Try NOT to mention the whole gripe about you being the family maid. It won’t help your case.)
And keep in mind that once you do this, you WILL be on your own. You can’t go back and get help and money from them like you can as a teenager. Adulthood means being responsible for yourself.
Good luck!
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December 28th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
depends how old you are,if your old enough leave home and don,t be dictated to.If not bide your time and stay with your parents. The choice is yours,as you said it’s unbearable so you have already made up your mind
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December 28th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
I would say show them this post.
When they see your horrendous spelling and grammar, they will realize just how badly you need the education.
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